'la douleur exquise.

And, I try to touch her but she fades away. I try to catch her but she is fast. So i give up, just so that she stays, unreachable yet near. And I look at her.

I am looking at a girl who wants me to be a kid again, right now. I am looking at a girl who is a miraculously fabulous creation of God. I am looking at a girl who makes me forget the need to blink. I am looking at a girl whose eye winks, involuntarily, as she graces me with her laugh. I am looking at a girl whose hair is neatly tugged into a band and yet two strands escape and make it, to fall on her cheeks. I am looking at a girl whose fragrance is spread around, in the winds, like somebody left a botlle of perfume open. I am looking at a girl whose eyes speak a thousand words as she blinks, each time. I am looking at a girl, to describe whom, I must be equal to a thousand Shakespeares. I am looking at a girl whose smile seems to be the only thing I’d ask for as my last wish. I am looking at a girl who makes me believe, in nature, in beauty and in love. I am looking at a girl who would be the only one, I’ll go in my knees for. I am looking at a girl who is the only one I’d want to grow old with. I am looking at a girl who is as pure as the color white, simply untouched, even by light that glows on it. I am looking at a girl who makes it hard for me just to stand there, as a hundred thoughts of feeling her presence for real, creeps into my mind. I slide closer to touch her, trying to be as soft as i can. I strech my hand.

And she moves away. She's faster. She chooses to remain out of reach but still cast a spell, a charm that makes my heart beat like it was never this alive before. I guess this is what they call 'falling' for someone. Someone who is out of your reach, unattainable, and still there is a stubborn wish, to pursue. 'la douleur exquise.
- Azad Hussain @ smokeofsuplur.blogspot.in

Should Prostitution be legalized?

Should Prostitution be legalized?

The whole reason behind the demand of legalizing prostitution, escapes my mind. I feel saddened by the fact that this is something that is being asked for, by the well educated-illiterate minds that are a part of our government. Legalization of prostitution, they say, is the easiest solution to decrease rapes and satisfy the sex driven-desperate bastards.  But HOW?

How on the earth does legalizing prostitution even fit into the solution list of decreasing rapes and respecting women? To me, it looks more like legalizing rapes at a national level. It is a way to mask every illegal, heinous activity in the name of prostitution. Prostitution, even after being illegal is already widespread across the country, with thousands on women and girls getting sucked into it due to circumstances, pressure, trafficking, and many more reason that we are unaware of. And if legalized, it would become an industry, with limitless and unimaginable results. An industry that would lead to an increase in organized crimes, child trafficking, sex trafficking, kidnapping, etc.. By supporting its legalization, we are being ignorant not only the current state of women in these traps but also to all those who would unfortunately become a part of it. Think of all those girls in the villages, who are already cursed and beaten for not being a boy (khandaan ka vaaris), who would be thrown into this trade when people would lure their parents with chucks of cash. Think of how a supply and demand chain would result in an infinite loop, forever. And when the victims would approach the Govt. it would sit with another board to “legalize something else”.
Prostitution in fact is no different from a rape. It is a rape that is confined in between the walls of a room. It is a rape where the screams of the victim are paid for. It is a rape where the victim cannot complain to any one. It is a rape where the accused is free to bite on the new flesh, everyday, as he wishes. And it is a rape that people are supporting, to legalize.

We all are so selfish. We hear about this proposal, read about it in newspapers but we don’t do a thing about it because somewhere we believe in it. We are so self centered that we think this would at least protect our daughters and sisters, if not everyone else’s. What about all those unfortunate girls and women, who would become a part of it? Aren’t they close to someone too?
“It’s like keeping your birthday cake safe and feeding someone else’s brownies, to the dogs”.

Coming to reality, Prostitution never was and never will be a solution to decrease crime against women. It would not only give birth to more desperate men but also help them go un-noticed after every crime. It would more likely be a license to tease, harm or rape.

We don’t want rapes. We want the Govt. to take actions to stop it. On the other hand, we see our Govt. setting up immediate relief hospitals for rape victims, special courts for rape cases, faster FIR’s, etc.. But that is not what we want; we want rapes not to happen in the first place. Has our Govt. given up hopes of decreasing the crimes against women that it now plans about the after effects and not the precautionary measures? We need strict laws. We want the violators to be punished or to be done away with. We want every girl child to smile, to learn, to earn and to be respected. And that’s how we grow. We don’t want any false satisfaction of safety. We want change, and we won’t settle for anything less than that.

So what do we expect from the Govt.?

1. If a rape is proved, and a person is found guilty, the first step should be to snatch away his citizenship and cancel all his identity proofs, leaving him nameless and equal to NOTHING. He cannot escape, get a job, travel, and most importantly, never think of harming someone again. At least that way the Govt. doesn’t have to spend our taxes to feed him during his years of imprisonment.  And if caught again, Death sentence should be the best answer.

2. I believe, rape is not something that one is capable of carrying out, alone. It is a team work. And all of us(you, me and everyone), are the team. Each and everyone rape, we are a part of it too. What if we had shouted collectively that day when we saw that guy teasing her? May be she would have reached home, safely. Hence, we are to be punished equally, for being so ignorant.
Every time a rape is reported from a city, town, village or a state, the whole area should be punished. By punished, I mean they should be deprived of all the Govt. facilities like water, electricity, ration, etc.., for a month at the least. And if the crime is committed again, the punishment should get carried forward.

But again, how far can the Govt. work without co-operation. We have a bigger part to play in saving our country from becoming the “playground for rapists”. No social media outrage, candle light march, campaign, protest, or social experiment is going to change us. These things just end up getting likes and comments. But change has to come from within, from you, from me and from everyone. And for that we have to be humans first.  While I sit here and write this article, I believe I am helping in encouraging at least some people to make India better. And I am changing, are you?

# We read about how it took us centuries to evolve and become humans but we take absolutely no time to turn into animals, again.

-- Azad Hussain @smokeofsulphur.blogspot.in

Cause' Love only leaves us for a while, to return with a bigger smile.

He sat there and cried, beside a grave covered with freshly plucked lilies, and with the name, Maria Samuel. He had been sitting there lifelessly for a couple of hours by now, talking to himself, shifting positions and crying his eyes out. It was a part of his everyday routine, to visit the cemetery for 2 hours at least. Samuel Hanks, a retired US marine, a strong old man whom people around, often addressed as the 'brave heart'. But he did not look strong today as he kept weeping in front of the only person he loved the most who chose to leave him before he did. 5th of March, the day he would never forget even if he lost his memory for this was the day, Maria John, a timeless beauty entered his life to stay forever. Sitting right beside her grave, where she rested, nothing was different for Hanks apart from the fact that her heart did not beat anymore or a doubt that if she was still able to hear him as clearly as she did, always. He spread his hands over the cold marble with the letters M A R I A  S A M U E L, inscribed in the middle. He spoke as he ran his fingers along the engraved letters, “Remember Marie, our first official date after marriage where you were bossy enough to ask me not to chew like a buffalo? Then you would threaten to zip my mouth when I made a loud slurp, every time I sipped my coffee. I miss you Marie, I miss you so much that sometimes I feel like digging up a grave right beside yours and falling into it, like I fell for your smile. Marie, sometimes I think, I should have listened to you about not abandoning our daughter. I shouldn't have been so hard on her when she came up with that lousy looking boyfriend of hers, she wished to marry. I should have felt her love as she wanted me to, rather than questioning her reasons to choose that guy. How foolish I was, Marie? How could I ask her a reason for loving him when I fell in love with you, for just a smile? How could I forget about how her story resembled ours, of how hopelessly we planned for a future even when we had nothing that we owned? Marie, I tried my best. I tried my best to locate her details as you wished, right on that bed in the hospital, holding my hands firm just before you left them, forever. I am old now, Marie, a lot messier than I was when you were around. I wake up late, I skip my meals, I forget my spectacles every time, and I don’t take proper medication. I am weak, Marie, and I’m sorry for I could not make your last wish come true. And what kind of a daughter would ignore her mother's funeral. I wonder if she even knows that you're no more. Marie, hope you understand me when I get to you. Marie, remember how you always talked about grandchildren, a dream that my stubborn self, masked you from. I guess, our little daughter might be a mommy by now. I wish I could find them, not to plead sorry but to look at the faces of my grandchildren for once, before I breathe my last. I wish, she is blessed with a daughter, for every time I would look at her, she'd remind me of you. I would call her 'Marie', my girlfriend. I would play with her, all the time, even if these weak bones were to give up. I would take her for walks, holding by her little fingers, as she ran with a little pace to catch up with my long feet. I would go to movies with her and sit with my eyes on her innocent little cheeks as she enjoyed her popcorn. I would take her to the fair, in the town, to take a ride or two, on the giant wheel. I would buy her a lot of candy, of all shapes, sizes and colours that would be available. I would go on fancy dates with her, Marie, and tell people she is my love. Marie, I would do everything to make her feel beautiful, and to be the best grandpa ever. Marie, wouldn't you be jealous, looking at how nicely we both spent time together while you would be stuck with a stubborn grandson. Marie, I wish you were here for I feel so alone that I don’t feel like living anymore “.

He got up to his feet, still whispering his prayers for her, as the day was getting dim, to give way to the dark. 5pm, his clock ticked, reminding him to get back to his house, to feed his parrots.


'Excuse me', he heard a sweet voice coming from a side, as he concentrated on the force that pulled his pants, with a grip on them at his knees. He looked down, only to find a little girl, looking up at him, with a bouquet of flowers in her hands, and a wide smile on her face. He gave her way, as he shifted a little away from the grave, to a side. The little girl fell to her knees, placing the flowers on the grave right beside where the lilies rested. She closed her eyes and held her hands together, gripped to her chest with her head bowed down, in respect. Hanks was amused, surprised and shocked to see such innocence in a girl of that age. He stood there, clueless, glancing at her face, scared to break her prayers, and wondering who she was. It had been 2years that he visited the cemetery, everyday, but he had never seen her before, and of that he was sure cause' a little girl, so beautiful, he could never forget her face, if he did. She finally moved a little, still on her knees, searching for something in the pockets of the leather jacket she was covered with. She turned towards Hanks, holding a beautiful rose in her little fingers, she uttered sweetly, “Will you be my boyfriend' Grandpa? “. Shocked out of his mind, losing his breath as he gasped, Hanks got down to his knees, holding her little hands in his own. He looked around, as he struggled to give voice to his heart, he spotted his daughter walking towards him, into the cemetery. A thousand emotions sparked beneath his skin, as he looked into the little girl's eyes which by now resembled to those of Marie's. With tears flowing down like flash floods, still gasping, he held the little girl by her shoulders and asked her, “Wha...wh..what is your name?”. “Maria Samuel Hanks”, she replied as she reached for his eyes, wiping away his tears with a little hand kerchief that was pinned on to her little leather jacket. “Mm..Ma..Maria..?”, he stammered, overwhelmed with the sudden surge of happiness that he never thought, would knock at his door. “Yes, Grandpa. Mom says my name is the best. Isn’t it?”, she spoke resting her head on his shoulder, as he still shivered, hugging her close and feeling her presence in his hands. “Sssh..sss..Mmma..Marie. My Marie”, he held her in his arms, never to leave her again. He glanced over to the grave, and he knew his Marie was looking down at them, happy, content, and free, finally. His tears did not stop as he could feel the presence of a new life in his heart, a life that he longed for. He kissed that little girl's forehead, crying and smiling at the same time, with overflowing emotions that did not seem to end soon. Just before they left, he stood holding the little fingers of his granddaughter, looking at the grave, and whispered to himself, “Thanks”.

 - Azad Hussain.