I sit here, on a concrete block, in-between haphazardly parked bikes and cars in the college parking, a little far away from the classes and a little too close to the main gate. Four years, this has been the most crowded place in the college, with girls chirping around like birds, talking about crazy guys on facebook and guys, trying out almost everything from walking like a macho-man to braking their cars hard hoping girls would turn around hearing the screech. But today it was different.
This place was silent. So silent that I could hear the whispers of the security guards talking. I was the only soul amidst the engines that were alive a few moments ago before people pulled the keys off. And with a sudden breeze, as I try to close my eyes not to let the dust get in, I feel a hand in my hair, gently brushing it sideways and trying to convey, “It’s me”. As I look back to see who it was, she settles down next to me with her bag in the lap and her hands folded around her stomach. She looked beautiful like she always did. Her hair falling down on to her cheeks on one side and her hands involuntarily putting it back behind the ears. She sat there without speaking a word, just looking at me now and then, hoping I would start the conversation. I couldn’t resist but look at her again for she looked new every time our eyes met. Her eyes were a little dizzy and I could tell, she did not sleep last night and may be, she cried. Less of a speaker, she always listened to me like a kid and right then I could feel, she wanted me to talk so she would know, I am not angry anymore. I did not want to speak because I knew, all my words would go waste when I would finish and she replies “It cannot happen. Forget me. Please”. She was looking down at her slippers that she wore, playing with a stone, rolling it from one side to another. We did not speak a word but we were connected, it seemed. I make up my mind to put out the false ego aside and speak up. I turn towards her, facing her ears and as I was almost about to say Hi, when she whispers without making any eye contact, “Sorry, I want you back for life, forever. The rolling stone stops just between her feet and in the silence I try to find the voice that I just heard. Before I could speak up again, she slides her fingers into mine and inclines her head on my chest, her favorite place, and says, “I would never leave you again! I promise”. I wrap my hand around her back, holding her tight to let her know, I too wouldn’t. With a keen excitement to look at her smile, I lift her chin up and I smile, only to see her watery eyes, and her lips, trembling. I wipe her tears as I slide the strands of her hair back, behind her ears and hold her face in my palms, feeling her cheeks, and I ask her to smile. She smiles and I fall in love a little more and I feel proud, I could wait for this long. A place, so boring and so lifeless, just a few seconds ago, felt like it came to life all of a sudden, making everything around, pleasant and beautiful. Suddenly, somebody shouts, almost into my ear from the back. I turn back to look who it is and find a security guard, gazing at me, with a puzzled face. He shouts at me again and this time I could feel the anger in his tone, as I hear him ask, “Are you deaf? Did u come to college, drunk? ”. I wonder what he is talking about and I ask him in a low voice, “what happened, uncle? Why are you shouting? ” . I see his facial muscles getting strained a little more as his tone gets louder this time when he says, “It’s been ten minutes that you are talking to this pole. Are you drunk? “. I wonder why he is talking weird and I slowly turn back to look at her, if she also feels this security guard has lost it. I turn back to find no one, but a lamp post. I blink my eyes to confirm what I am looking at as I don’t want to believe what I see. I look around as people gather up to witness my inability to answer the security guard. But I try to see as far as I can, all around, just to spot her. I turn back towards the guard in vain, looking down, accepting I was wrong and I answer him, “Sorry Uncle, I dint sleep properly last night. I was a little dizzy”. He rewards me with a disgusting look, still thinking I am drunk, and he leaves. I look back at the place where I was sitting before and I ask myself, why it had to be so sweet if it was just an illusion. Tears roll down my cheeks and I feel them on my lips, circling to find the way down as new ones crawl down, as I cry. I stand there gazing at nothing, still not accepting it wasn’t true and whispering to myself, “Oh girl! Sure you left, but your essence is all around me”.
This place was silent. So silent that I could hear the whispers of the security guards talking. I was the only soul amidst the engines that were alive a few moments ago before people pulled the keys off. And with a sudden breeze, as I try to close my eyes not to let the dust get in, I feel a hand in my hair, gently brushing it sideways and trying to convey, “It’s me”. As I look back to see who it was, she settles down next to me with her bag in the lap and her hands folded around her stomach. She looked beautiful like she always did. Her hair falling down on to her cheeks on one side and her hands involuntarily putting it back behind the ears. She sat there without speaking a word, just looking at me now and then, hoping I would start the conversation. I couldn’t resist but look at her again for she looked new every time our eyes met. Her eyes were a little dizzy and I could tell, she did not sleep last night and may be, she cried. Less of a speaker, she always listened to me like a kid and right then I could feel, she wanted me to talk so she would know, I am not angry anymore. I did not want to speak because I knew, all my words would go waste when I would finish and she replies “It cannot happen. Forget me. Please”. She was looking down at her slippers that she wore, playing with a stone, rolling it from one side to another. We did not speak a word but we were connected, it seemed. I make up my mind to put out the false ego aside and speak up. I turn towards her, facing her ears and as I was almost about to say Hi, when she whispers without making any eye contact, “Sorry, I want you back for life, forever. The rolling stone stops just between her feet and in the silence I try to find the voice that I just heard. Before I could speak up again, she slides her fingers into mine and inclines her head on my chest, her favorite place, and says, “I would never leave you again! I promise”. I wrap my hand around her back, holding her tight to let her know, I too wouldn’t. With a keen excitement to look at her smile, I lift her chin up and I smile, only to see her watery eyes, and her lips, trembling. I wipe her tears as I slide the strands of her hair back, behind her ears and hold her face in my palms, feeling her cheeks, and I ask her to smile. She smiles and I fall in love a little more and I feel proud, I could wait for this long. A place, so boring and so lifeless, just a few seconds ago, felt like it came to life all of a sudden, making everything around, pleasant and beautiful. Suddenly, somebody shouts, almost into my ear from the back. I turn back to look who it is and find a security guard, gazing at me, with a puzzled face. He shouts at me again and this time I could feel the anger in his tone, as I hear him ask, “Are you deaf? Did u come to college, drunk? ”. I wonder what he is talking about and I ask him in a low voice, “what happened, uncle? Why are you shouting? ” . I see his facial muscles getting strained a little more as his tone gets louder this time when he says, “It’s been ten minutes that you are talking to this pole. Are you drunk? “. I wonder why he is talking weird and I slowly turn back to look at her, if she also feels this security guard has lost it. I turn back to find no one, but a lamp post. I blink my eyes to confirm what I am looking at as I don’t want to believe what I see. I look around as people gather up to witness my inability to answer the security guard. But I try to see as far as I can, all around, just to spot her. I turn back towards the guard in vain, looking down, accepting I was wrong and I answer him, “Sorry Uncle, I dint sleep properly last night. I was a little dizzy”. He rewards me with a disgusting look, still thinking I am drunk, and he leaves. I look back at the place where I was sitting before and I ask myself, why it had to be so sweet if it was just an illusion. Tears roll down my cheeks and I feel them on my lips, circling to find the way down as new ones crawl down, as I cry. I stand there gazing at nothing, still not accepting it wasn’t true and whispering to myself, “Oh girl! Sure you left, but your essence is all around me”.
-- Azad Hussain.
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